Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Just Say No

I am after smoking the last cigarette of my life! Ive tried giving up before but I turn into an emotional wreck (which is going to happen again quite possibly tomorrow) and I always give in after about 3 days. Im sick of waking up with a taste of shit in my mouth, sick of feeling like a dirty parasite when treating clients, knowing that I smell of smoke, sick of my hair smelling bad, sick of knowing that with every drag Im damaging the person that is more precious to me than my own life and it is for him that I will do so no longer. And from a vanity point of view, for someone like me who is obsessed with youth and beauty, is it not quite possibly the stupidest thing I could do? To smoke away my youth and money? And what if I give in when he is not there? Since I am not harming him directly? What's going to motivate me then?

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